Empowered Endings Provided a Dignified Journey and Peace for a Terminal Patient's Family

Dr. Bob is just able to get as technical as you need, but he really keeps it at the level for the family to understand what is ahead of them, understand what the patient can prepare for and what to expect before the process and during the process. And I think having the support that they have for the family after my dad passed away was huge as well. So my name's David. I lost my dad about a year and a half ago now. My dad found out that he had a rare type of blood cancer back in 2017, where he was given a prognosis of about two and a half years. I felt like the information he got was a bit misleading, and I just had a instinct that the doctor who gave him that information wasn't totally equipped to tell someone that they had two and a half years. So I went around and we found the right doctor at a great hospital, and Empowered Endings came up pretty quickly. And I brought that up to my dad throughout many years, and I remember the first time I brought it up, it didn't go over too, too well. [chuckles] Um, it wasn't rejected, but it wasn't accepted. And by the time my dad became terminal, that was one of his last wishes, was to, "Please, please just get me this option." And that's when we engaged with Empowered Endings and, you know, Dr. Bob. My dad went to MD Anderson, which is kind of the pinnacle of healthcare for what he had. Then we started to feel more support, but I think it was still difficult to navigate. I think that's where I feel like the support was lacking. It just wasn't accessible to us, and I think that's really where Empowered Endings and Dr. Bob really shines. Once I found them, it was just a huge light bulb, and it really just put our entire family at major ease. I first heard about Empowered Endings while we were in the hospital, and it was very clear from the first conversation with Shauna that this is the team that I want to go down this path with. Then once we met with Dr. Bob, it was a virtual meeting, I just had such a good feeling about him. And then in the follow meetings where he came and did a house visit, my entire family, from the second he walked in that door, knew that this was the guy to listen to. It was clear that they cared about and took in all of the different parts of the situation, the family structure, the state of my dad, how comfortable we, we were with medical aid in dying, how educated we were with medical aid in dying. They took the time to understand our family. I just feel like they came in with so much personal touch. It was clear that there was not only this singular focus on medical aid in dying, but here is the ecosystem around this service. Here are things that we can do before helping the family prepare emotionally, logistically. Here's the support we have during the process, after the process. My dad, you know, extremely close to him, also someone who just loved life and really did not want to suffer, and he easily could have suffered with the type of cancer that he had. It allowed us to have a final day and prepare for that final day, and it gave my dad so much peace, which gave us so much peace, to where my entire family just bungalowed in our house for an entire week. You know, we got food, we played cards, we enjoyed every moment knowing that my dad wasn't gonna have to experience suffering beyond a reasonable date. [chuckles] And I still look back as, at that moment as honestly one of the best weeks of my life, and my family and everyone in that room feels the same way. It was amazing, yeah. The dignity and the sovereignty is, like, critical in this process, where my dad had control over his own life. That in itself gave him and our entire family this empowered ending, this empowered feeling to just be present. Without that, you're constantly thinking about how bad things can go. And I think when my dad had his dignity to go out on his own calling, it gave us the ability and the empowerment to live as if this was really the last moments we had with him, which supercharged the moment. We didn't have to be his nurse. We didn't have to be his doctor. We didn't have to be this strategic healthcare planner, which was, like, so outside of our roles. That's not who we are. We wanna be his family. We wanna be his son, his wife, whatever it is. Dr. Bob is designed for this. This is his life's work, and when he walks in the door, you feel that, and you immediately feel this trust in the room. And I think he has this very unique blend of expertise in the field and truly expertise in helping people die well.