Overcoming VA Bureaucracy to Honor a Father's End-of-Life Wishes

Once I had the individualized care in place with Dr. Bob, it took a lot of stress off me because I was the one responsible for my father getting healthcare. It also made it easier for the whole family because he was available and spent time counseling with my siblings. So it just took everything off. It added another layer of complexity because I was facing the end of my father's life, and that's never easy. So without Dr. Bob, I don't think I could have helped my father with his wishes. Hi, my name's Linda, and Empowered Endings cared for my father and my uncle. Before Empowered Endings, I was dealing first with my father, and he was in the VA system, and I was dealing with the bureaucracy of the VA and the unwillingness of the VA to let my father make his own decision about the end of his life. I contacted first Compassion and Choices, which is, I think it's a nationwide group about end of life. And at that time in California, the law had not passed, and so we spoke with the people from that organization in Oregon. We had a conference call with them, and they suggested that I contact a hospice in San Diego who would be friendly to my father making his own decision about end of life. And it was through one of their volunteers who connected me with several hospice organizations I interviewed, and one of them worked with Dr. Bob. And as soon as I talked to her about that and then met him by phone, I knew it was the right decision. It was great for us because we were used to driving to the VA for everything, so we were right at home. And between the hospice, which gives you some care but not complete, but the ability, Dr. Bob always available by phone or message and came to the house. And my father had an immediate connection and f- felt very good about it. My whole family, all my siblings and their spouses also. I can tell you from experience because I had a very good friend who had a terminal diagnosis, and because she knew about my father's experience, she came to me because she said she had trouble finding people to talk to. So I encouraged her. She wasn't in San Diego. I encouraged her to reach out for somebody like Empowered Endings who would be there to support her as-- through her care, and she was actually able to find somebody in Florida. I would tell you overall, people are afraid of death and dying, and in my social circle, I'm not 20. The people who have been around me now come to me as, like, a source, like, in private, like, "How did it go? How was this?" And if any of them ask me if they were in that situation for themselves or their parent, I would definitely say, "You have to get ahold of Dr. Bob and Empowered Endings." It's the whole team, the whole way, the whole thing works at the end.