Unhooking From Old Patterns to Achieve Internal Ease and Self-Compassion

Hi, I'm Rebecca. I got divorced eight years ago, and it's been an interesting and tough journey. And I think I was stuck in a lot of ways with being able to move forward after a long marriage and raising a family. It's been an amazing opportunity to look at some of the things that have been causing me a lot of pain and to be able to release and let go and unhook a lot of that pain. So I really look forward to living a more joyful, full, positive life. I highly recommend the 40 Years of Zen program. Before attending 40 Years of Zen, my life was not being at ease a lot of the time, not being really truly relaxed. I mean, I was. When I was playing my bass or in the flow of my work, but not where my nervous system was relaxed when I wasn't doing things that are, you know, really where I was in the flow. But just most, the majority of my life, it was pretty chaotic internally. Maybe not externally, but certainly internally. And what made me say yes to coming to 40 Years of Zen was just feeling like now is the time. I am so busy, and I could see that I could clear a week of space. And there were lots of obstacles. I mean, I knew I'd have to revisit some pretty old and scary places in my shadow side. I actually spoke with someone who had been here, which gave me a little more courage to see that it could be not just work, work, work, but actually fun, too. Fun to go through the process, fun to have the discovery, fun to uncover. So this combination of being in a beautiful space, I mean, it's hardly a vacation. It's not a vacation, but it is a beautiful space. It's a beautiful setting and beautiful nourishment for your brain and your body while you're doing this work. So that helped spur me on to say okay, I can do the hard work and be supported while doing so. So I felt that I could really put my trust into my facilitator, into David, and trust him. That was a huge, huge appreciation that I had, and I appreciated everybody on staff, from the wonderful cook to the tech, you know, the neurotech, and to the neuroscientists, to everybody on staff who made everything runs seamlessly and beautifully. So, moving forward, I'm most excited, I think, about living in this state of having unhooked from some of my old patterns and beliefs that have been with me for a long time and that have just sort of dampened down my life, my spirit. I live my life joyfully, but I hope that there's more sort of internal ease moving forward. I'm looking forward to being able to recall the tools that I used to flip a thought or to look at things in new ways. So, having gone through this program, I think what shifted the most for me is acknowledgement of any of the suffering and pain that younger me experienced. and heal that, love that part of me. And so that integration has been really beautiful. Going forward I hope that this will impact my life in many ways. I hope in my relationships that there's just maybe an ability inside me to be more present and to come to all of my relationships with a deeper understanding of how we are all in a different process, but really working through a lot of the same stuff. I think the biggest takeaway for me is that while I have studied self compassion, I've done workshops, I've done meditations, I've done yoga work around self compassion. I don't think I've ever understood it in quite the same way or been able to integrate self compassion to a place where I can really feel it in my body physically. We have to start with being compassionate and loving ourselves before we can truly love anybody else. I would recommend 40 Years of Zen to anybody who wants a sort of brain upgrade, a lift in excitement, to live life in a more full, beautiful way.