From Separation to Divine Union After Twenty-Five Years of Marital Conflict

Where before it was like he's the cage that my bird is, like, trapped in and I just need to get away, and that turned into, like, he is the gravity that's allowing me to fucking soar in this lifetime, and it's unreal. My name's Jessie Brown from Salida, Colorado, up in the mountains, and I am a transformational guide or light coach. I was 43, had been in a marriage for almost 25 years, and had recently separated, so actually driven away. We were starting to learn how to co-parent and navigating the D word. In Transformative Listening, one of the questions was asked to me, "If he could be that one, then would you want it to be him? Like, if he could be that man for you, would you want it to be him?" And my response was, "Well, I just don't think it's possible." Like, we've literally tried everything. It's been two years with therapists, coaches, plant medicine. [laughs] I mean, you name it, we did everything, and we really couldn't find him deeply enough for me to feel as though I would be met. If we could meet each other in that way, like, if I can draw my line and say, "I'm over here. Come be with me here, and if you can, you're the one that I want to be with me over here," if that could be a yes, then that's all we needed to work with. And so I said, "Okay." Like, I don't believe you, but I kind of do. I mean... And we had went through the whole process. Like, it was brutal to separate 25 years. And through Transformative Listening, it's like you take your problems in this Petri dish and you culture them out, and then you find, like, the exact antidote, antibiotic to kill those. Through Transformative Listening, I was able to find, we were able to find that we were actually each other's exact antidote, because we're the ones that put the shit in there in the first place. So [laughs] it's like every trauma we tapped into, instead of making us further apart and, like, making us have more tension, it was like we hit the release valve, and it exploded into the actual antidote, the actual power, the stored up energy that was there, that gave us that extra push into being able to heal and transform something into, like, my worst enemy into something that's like this fucking divine union that I never thought I would ever get to experience in this lifetime, and especially not with that man. I mean, like, from narcissist to, like, my knight in shining armor to my king, I would not have believed it. The blessing that I have in my life to have a man like that with the depth and the breadth and the history together and the safety, the depths that we went to before Transformative Listening has helped us find these heights together that you can only get to when you have someone else there. It's so different. There was this moment in the container at the very start of it where we were able to get to the truth underneath all the pain and actually hear from each other, "If you could be that for me, and if I could be that for you, you are actually what I desire." And so that moment of that feeling, I was able to attach a devotion to that and know that as long as I did that, it really didn't matter at the end if we ended up together or healed in the end. It didn't matter, because what we found was truth, truth of just the love that we are and the love that we had for each other really, and that we can work through all the other shit, and we did. I would encourage you, if you have fear or resistance coming up around this, I would encourage you to look at that as a really good sign. Don't see the resistance and fear as a sign that you should run away. Instead, see them as evidence that this is powerful shit, and if you can get in, like, it will take you there.