Overcoming Grief and Clutter Through Small Wins and Compassionate Coaching

Before working with Heather, my life was... a mess. that's just the fastest and easiest way I can describe it. I had just lost my husband of 40 years, who was my best friend, love of my life. He was the person who was caregiver for me as well because I have a lot of diadiagnoses. It was a quick illness and I was lost. I was scared. I was amidst a lot of clutter and much of it had built up over the years but even more had built up just before his illness. So, I suddenly was responsible for so much and I was overwhelmed and I didn't know how I was going to survive it. Heather helped me live lighter because she helped me prioritize what was the best thing for me to start with and then how to react as I took this journey. So, I decided to go with something concrete. In my case it was the master closet, which had been out of control for a long time. It was doable. I knew I needed to get rid of my husband's clothing and there was a lot of mess in there that had built up. It was overwhelming for the whole house but that one space, I needed to get going there. She taught me how to do it in 15 minute increments so I wasn't overwhelmed. So I didn't freeze and say, "I don't know how to start. I don't know where to go." As I started making progress on it in that 15-minute increment process, I saw space. And that space allowed me to breathe and help me feel like I accomplished something. That was a big step for me. She also helped me identify my saboteurs - the shame, the overwhelm. the "I can't do anything right. It's never going to get done." and all those messages that would keep me frozen. And she did it with a kindness and a compassion. I never felt "not enough." So, I was able to say, "I can do this." I was able to say, "Just one step. All you gotta do is take one step." And the small wins... I was able to celebrate those wins. Which allowed me to have more energy and more capacity to take the next step. And then I was able to start organizing not just the closet but a lot of other things, too. My kitchen got under control. My grocery shopping with the lists and things my husband did. I was able to do a lot of things that I wasn't able to do even when he was alive. And again, just those small steps became huge steps. Then right after I started with her I ended up having a flood in my house... from a freak weather thing. I got mold illness. Then I had activated Lyme. Then I broke my hip - probably from the brain fog, from the mold. And then in physical therapy, I had broken my foot. So it was a very, very tough time for me during that period. My thoughts surrounding my home and my health - I felt very raw. I felt very vulnerable. I had a real fear of spiraling downwards because I'd had illnesses. I'd been in and out of the hospital in the past. I'd managed to stay out of the hospital for a long time, other than the hip injury. So, I was pretty scared and I didn't know how I was going to survive. What made me say "yes" to Heather is, I could see how organized she was but I could also see that she wasn't a drill sergeant. She just had a kindness and a compassion. And I felt very safe. She also had a wealth of knowledge of many levels, not just the actual clutter but also what's behind the clutter - the emotional stuff, the practical stuff. And that just made me feel like I could work with her. If there were any hesitations in that decision point for me it was the cost. When my husband died I was suddenly $2,500 less coming in a month. I wasn't sure how I was going to pay my bills and that was the biggest obstacle. But I needed to just do something and get myself going in a forward direction and this just was a necessary step for me. I just needed to bite the bullet and I'm so glad I did. It was just the best thing for me at the time and has continued to be just an anchor for me. So, my advice if you're on the fence is just go for it. It's going to make such a huge difference in your life. You will not regret it. She has everything you need and she has so many things to choose from in her box of tools. You will find your way. You'll get it done. Hi, my name is Sue Schoetker and I'm from Henderson, Nevada.