Achieved Personal Sovereignty and Relationship Clarity Through Empowered Communication and Self-Trust

My name is Nicolette Ruthier. I live in Los Angeles, California, and I am a, a relationship and sovereignty coach. So I was maybe about a year and a half into the relationship, and my partner... I actually remember the moment we were driving, and he started to express some doubts about the relationship that totally took me off guard. I didn't even know anything was off. I didn't know that he was upset, but he had been having doubts for most of, like, the last year. So the first half a year was okay, and it was, you know, we're finding our way. But then that last year, he had been struggling, and I did not know. And so that was what prompted us to reach out to Ken. My partner at the time actually knew Ken. They were in a men's group together. And I hadn't actually worked with male coaches one-on-one before. I'd worked with male teachers, but not, not someone in that capacity, and I wasn't sure if that would be something I'd be comfortable with. But when we met with Ken, the way that he listened to me and could-- [laughs] Somehow he has this superpower where he could take what I said and interpret it in a way that my partner could understand. It was so mind-blowing to me. And not only did I feel heard, but he also made it so that I could be heard from my partner in ways that I hadn't been heard before. So that was so incredible that I was like, "Okay, we'll go with you." [laughs] So there are some interesting things that Ken did that stood out. There were some very specific tools that he used that had a very strong impact on me, that stayed with me beyond the couple's coaching. Like, they were very important for me personally, and I've carried them into my now marriage with, with my new partner. When things were challenging, the question, "Is it worth it?" It's such a simple question, but, like, it really had an impact because I could at any moment go, "Okay, and is this worth it?" And if the answer was yes, then I got to choose into it, and if the answer was no, then I got to really own my no. I became empowered in the relationship through what Ken brought that were things that I didn't even see were possible. I believe that the big transformation was both of us feeling empowered. We got so connected to our own power, each of us, that we could end the relationship from a place of power and not a place of failure or by default or from a storm. I mean, we ended with a lot of love. Honestly, it was the greatest act of love we could have done, was to end the relationship. So I left the relationship with power, with self-trust, with, with sovereignty, and also on a path to become more and more honest with myself. If I had been more honest with myself, I probably wouldn't have stayed as long as I did. So it's brought me to being able to articulate my boundaries more clearly, articulate my desires more clearly. I have more agency in my life. And it also allowed me to come into my marriage and, and be able to tell him, "This is, like, the handbook to Nicolette." [laughs] Like, 'cause, like, you know, I got to just say, "This is how I am," and, and, like, be self-loving in my quirks and not ashamed of them. And then, like, let my partner love them. Like, he can love all of me now, which, which really came out of that work with Ken, which is really cool. I'd say if you're considering working with Ken, you absolutely should work with Ken. [laughs] And I wanna add this because it, it feels important. There were moments where I got really frustrated with him. [laughs] It wasn't always easy for me, but I got to then say, "I'm really frustrated with you, Ken." Like, "This is, this isn't working for me." Like, "I'm, I... Uh." And, and he was like, he met me where I was at. I got to be really honest with him, and he always listened to me. He always had space for me. And that made him more and more trustable along the way. And so then the tools that he brought, they were so specific that I was able to directly apply them to my life. And, and I think that wherever someone's at, like, whatever stuck point they're at, he's gonna help you get unstuck from a place of power and truth with yourself.